Thursday, November 15, 2007

The Road to Vadodara - YOW

I am watching "dog diving" right now.

Apparently, in some parts of the United States of America, it is now a sporting event to throw a bundled up towel into a pool and have a dog chase and jump into the pool after it. The dog who jumps the farthest wins. Right now, that's a little yellow lab named Grizzly. I suspect that the gambling community is involved with the creation of this sport. Or inbreeding. Perhaps a bit of both.

I still can't fathom why this is being televised on ESPN, but it is and I'm watching it. So are the few zombie business men at the airport bar here in Ottawa. I am on my second beer but I don't think there are many more to come, not at $9.50 a pint. For Rickards Red.

Its pretty empty here, despite the long snaking security line I just got out of. I had my 'Axe' body spray confiscated because it was in a 150 ml container and the limit was 100 ml. I guess they have a warning about Al Queda preparing to attack by driving catholic school girls and hard-bodied strippers mad with 'Axe' desire. Or something like that - its getting very hard to tell the catholic school girls apart from the strippers.

Better safe than sorry I suppose.

Another dog has jumped. Looks like a black lab.

There is a young, dark haired Winnona Ryder sitting at the end of the bar. She is slowly sipping her ginger ale and leafing through her Cosmo, pretending not to notice every guy in the room is eyeing her. Not me, of course, I'm a married man and in no way did I imagine what her face would look like while she received cunnilingus. That would be the weaselly little Brit zombie next to me.

Dirty old bastard.

I'm finishing my beer now and getting ready to go to the gate. I have another hour but Rickards just isn't $10 beer good.

Looks like the black lab has beat the yellow one, who was apparently the reining champ.

Somewhere in America, a small man in a tight fitting green checked fedora is collecting $10 from another man, who is his brother and his father.

Only 27 hours to go.

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